At the moment I feel as though every passing day is a day wasted. A day where I could be doing some good...at least thinking i'm doing some good.
I think this is the crux of where I am - I want to make some kind of difference in life. At the moment the only difference I make is trying to undercut competitors and keep customers happy. How exactly this is doing anything other than saving some wealthy people a few pennies I am not sure. In fact, I am not sure why I even went into it in the first place.
'Life experience' they call it - I suppose I can say that it really has made me see just how pointless the majority of things I do actually are. It has also shown me that teaching RE/Philosophy really is important to me. I cannot really describe how I see this teaching lark - I cannot honestly say I have always wanted to teach, but I have always wanted to talk to people (willing or not) and try to explain to them just how much more to live there is than what is in front of them. In this time of uncertainty (the world is going to end if you believe...well...the majority of the press) I genuinely think it is important to understand the beliefs of others and to consider exactly what it is that drives us all.
Before anyone who reads this thinks "Oh dear, he's a fundamentalist trying to influence impressionable minds", i'm not. I do not have any religious beliefs at all, in fact I have a deep rooted cynicsm when it comes to these things. I have taken the time to research this though, and have weighed up the pros and cons in my mind. Every day I still fight with questions of a philosophical nature. I find it fascinating.
I know full well I will not influence a great number of pupils. The majority will laugh at my sarcasm (I hope) but dismiss what I have to say, and what I am aiming at. However, a few may not - and if I help to shape even a handful of young adults during my time then I will have achieved everything I want to.
Whether or not Christchurch will see it like this is another matter entirely - I await a call to interview or, in fact, any information from them at all.
No news is good news...allegedly.
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2 comments:
before i left my pre-teaching job i felt very similar to you!
i really hope you still feel this passion and desire to teach in a few years... the big problem with teaching is that the beaurocracy, red-tape, paperwork and pupil behaviour can start to unbalance the desire to teach. but i don't think i'm an old cynic yet... i really do enjoy teaching... just i guess i get tired and worn out by it sometimes! but if i wanted to do something else, i'd be doing that... i've always said if i start to really hate teaching, and it's not just the odd bad day, i won't do it any more.
btw - i quit my job in marketing and did TA work for a term before my PGCE. perhaps something you could consider if work's getting too bad?!
half term is great though! :)
I agree with Sarah. I also got to a point where I could not work in sales any longer. There had to be more to life. And now there is! Yes, it is tough, especially the PGCE year and NQT year, but if it's what you really want then go for it! I wish you the best of luck!
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